I wanna be your dog…

Taste The Blood of Countess DraculaIggy Pop crooned this immortal classic years ago, but it came to mind the other day when I read that Leona Helmsley AKA “The Queen of Mean” left her pooch, Trouble, a Maltese $12 million in her will.

$12 million will buy a hell of a lot of Kibbles and Bits for this pampered pooch, but – and I emphasize this – will it buy the little mutt happiness? 

I wonder what the effect of this sudden wealth will be on Trouble.  Will he live up to his name and join Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney “I’m doing a come back” Spears on the L.A. party circuit?  Will he burn through his dog years overnight in a round of drugs and debauchery?

Now, if he’s smart he’ll hire a good money manager and make enough smart investments to be able to buy a small island when it comes time to retire.  However, as often happens when large sums on money are at stake, his past has come back to haunt the little critter. 

It seems that in the old days before wealth and fame he had quite the reputation as a “biter” and now that he is a millionaire some of his former victims are demanding recompense.  My advice to Trouble – hire a good team of lawyers and they will take care of the $12 million for you. 

Still, I hope that the vultures don’t clean the little fella out afterall twelve million bucks is a small reward for all those years of faithfully sitting in the lap of Countess Dracula.

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