Jesse Helms joins the great klan meeting in the sky…

I'm a Dixie Doodle Dandy!Proving once again that he is a Dixie Doodle Dandy, former Republican Senator and renowned racist Jesse Helms died on the 4th of July.

This news truly makes it a happy Independence Day.

I could say much that is nasty about the former Senator from North Carolina but I think Jesse better speaks for himself,

“Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior.”

Jesse was also a master of the art of the political smear. Long before PhotoShop Jesse personally cobbled together photos to make it look like his opponent’s wife was dancing with a black man (horrors!).

Jesse was also firmly in the pocket of big tobacco and he opposed any proposed legislation that threatened it.

“I was with some Vietnamese recently, and some of them were smoking two cigarettes at the same time. That’s the kind of customers we need!”

Jesse was also deeply involved in foreign relations and had an uncanny ability to define just what was wrong in American foreign policy.

“A careful examination of what is happening behind the scenes reveals that all of these interests are working in concert with the masters of the Kremlin in order to create what some refer to as a “New World Order.” Private organizations such as the Council on Foreign Relations, the Royal Institute of International Affairs, the Trilateral Commission, the Dartmouth Conference, the Aspen Institute for Humanistic Studies, the Atlantic Institute, and the Bilderberg Group serve to disseminate and to coordinate the plans for this so-called new world order in powerful business, financial, academic, and official circles.”

I can’t help but wonder how Jesse felt about the very real possibility that a black man might become President of the United States.

“The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that’s thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men’s rights.”

“Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced.”

So now ol’ Jess is sitting down there on his front porch in hell with his old friends, and fellow racists, Jerry Fatwell and Strom Thurman, sipping Mint Julips and they’re wondering when eternity will be over.

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