I Am The Father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby!

I am Anna Nicole Smith’s baby’s father. There I said it and they are right, confession is good for the soul.

Now, that it is official and I have committed it to writing, I guess I had better go hire lawyers to start sorting things out. While I’m at it I guess I will need a press agent and personal management to handle the requests from the media and talk shows which will now flow in.

Now, I see that I am in good company with a lawyer, a photographer and even a prince. So how did I, a lowly communicator, sow my seeds in trailerland? Funny you should ask…

It was on the third night of my “all you can eat, all you can drink, all you can…” cruise out of Miami some time back. My precious flower Anna Nicole was standing alone by the seafood buffet piling her plate with shrimp. Our eyes met across the Salt Cod Surprise and the rest was fireworks – except when she mistook me for a buttered scallop in the dark. I still carry the scars of that encounter.

Unlike most of the other claimants I have waited a decent time – well at least until the corpse cools – before coming forward to join in the media carnival.

I’m sure in life, Anna Nicole was more than just the center of an ongoing freakshow – she had certainly suffered her share of tragedy – first losing her husband and then most of his money – but this is getting ridiculous.

The American media has paid more attention to this marginal story than really important news over the past week. The Scooter Libby Trial? Who cares? A nuclear deal with North Korea? Big deal.

No, the media would rather wallow through every trivial detail of her lurid life and death.

And unfortunately, that’s the way it is.

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