More on dummies…

My comments on ventriloquists certainly touched a nerve.  I have received a lot of mail and comments about it since Friday including this e-mail from Conrad Lippincott who apparently is the Chief Operating Officer of the International Ventriloquist Society.  He was quite alarmed by my comments and wanted to clarify some misperceptions he claims I have created.

“Mr. McGarvey,  As the President and Chief Operating Officer of the International Ventriloquists Society I take great offense to your characterization of our membership as practicing a “disturbing hobby” and being “borderline schizophrenic“.

Research done by Duke University on behalf of our organization proves conclusively that there is no higher instance of schizophrenia among members of the ventriloquist community than with other entertainment professionals.  In fact, the study noted, that both mime artists and improv actors suffer much higher rates of this unfortunate affliction.

As for your claims that our members engage in eating human flesh, I want to assure you and your readers that while some unfortunate incidents did occur in the past, we have taken positive steps toward our goal of making our organization completely free of any cannibalistic activities.

We have made great strides, over the years, to change the perception of our noble profession, however, due to motion pictures such as “Dead of Night” and “Magic” and episodes of Goosebumps, The Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents we continue to categorized as “creepy”.

We are, in fact, mostly normal everyday people who have spent many hours alone in our rooms, perfecting the art of making an inanimate object come to life.  There is nothing sinister in this.

To further discuss this matter with you I have asked Mr. Huggles, our Media Relations Specialist, to contact you to discuss this in person. He will be free to meet with you under your bed after midnight tonight.

Sincerely yours,
Conrad Lippincott, President and C.O.O., I.V.S.

While, I found Mr. Lippincott’s clarifications somewhat disturbing, at least he didn’t include death threats, like the International Association of Barbershop Singers did.  I had no idea that the late mob boss, John Gotti, was an ardent barbershop singer and that several of his close associates carry on the tradition in his honor. 

2 Responses to “More on dummies…”

  1. Kumeshan says:

    I found your blog via Google while searching for ventriloquist dummies and your post regarding More on dummies… looks very interesting to me. I could not believe the amount of quality material on this site. The site is extremely eyecatching and pulls the reader straight it, the articles are great quality and are very professionally written. I have seen too many of these sites where it looks like they pay an 8 year old to do the writing – Not this one. Your site is easily the best that I have seen in a long while.

  2. Peter McGarvey says:

    Thanks very much for the compliment. I try to keep the writing as professional as possible.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.